i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
