Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
