i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
