I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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