she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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