she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
