I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
