What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
