no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
