Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
apparently the secret to your success is patron
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
