the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
