after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
