ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
