Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
