real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
