The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
