She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
