She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
