i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
