I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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