69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
