South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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