Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
