Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
