She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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