Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Randomize
