just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
