haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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