i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Randomize
