i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
