I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
