I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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