Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
