I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
