I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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