Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
