somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
