happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
