So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
