Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Randomize
