how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
