He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I currently don't understand fingers.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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