Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
