So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
