Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
