i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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