Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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