omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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