I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
