just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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