yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
